What Do We Talk About in Premarital Counseling?

Premarital counseling is a great way to discuss important issues before the big day. Going to a counselor and taking time to focus only on your relationship, and your expectations for marriage, might bring up some important topics that you had not even considered. Plus, you are in a safe place with your partner to discuss them. Even if your relationship is going great, it is still a good idea to participate in premarital counseling.

Many people ask what topics are focused on in premarital counseling. This isn’t always the same for every couple, as each couple has different issues and concerns. There are some common themes that are usually discussed in these sessions. This article from Huffington Post brings up some great examples of important topics and questions for engaged couples. At our office, our counselors typically focus on these topics among others:

Money:
How will common payments be handled? What about big expenses? Does either person have debt? Will one partner work or both?

Kids:
Does each partner want kids? How many? What is the ideal timeline? Is adoption an option? How does each person picture raising their kids?

Family/In-laws:
How involved will family members be with their lives? Are there any care taking duties to be discussed? How will you handle conflict with family?

Intimacy:
Are you happy with your level of intimacy? If not, what would you like this to look like? How will you ask for more intimacy or communicate about issues?

How Time is Spent:
How would you like to spend your free time? How much time do you expect to spend alone, as a couple, with family/friends?

Household:
Who is responsible for which chores? Who takes care of finances? Who will take care of pets? How will you discuss future issues as they arise?