How much time on social media is healthy?

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How much social media is too much?

The use of social media, like Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, or Twitter has become overwhelmingly popular in modern communication. So much so, that the question of how much time is “too much” time on social media is being asked by many.

According to a study done by Digital Information World, the average user is currently spending two hours and 22 minutes on social media a day. And that time is increasing every year.

The idea of social media is great at its core concept. It is used to connect people, businesses, and information all over the world. It is a way to keep in contact with loved ones that do not live close. It’s also a great tool for businesses to communicate with potential consumers and market their products and services. There is no doubt about the usefulness of social media. However, the doubt comes when we see the time spent on these applications and the impact they could be having on our day to day life.

The more time teens spend on social media linked to depression.

There was a recent study conducted by JAMA Pediatrics, on how screen time might be affecting teens in this current day and age. They report ‘a positive association between screen time and depression in adolescents’. Depression is common among adults and teens. However, when teens become more depressed it can impact their developmental processes academically, socially, and cognitively. Teens who report depression often have lower self-esteem and can have poor relationships with peers and adults.

The impact on adults.

As for adults, social media can have a major impact on our focus, productivity, relationships, as well as self-esteem. We can see those who suffer with work performance and maintaining relationships as constant notifications pop up encouraging the checking of personal social media sites. Social media can often give illusions to things that might not be the reality. People post pictures and videos that are edited and staged to make their life appear at its best. It is very common for both adults and teens to spend a large amount of time on these platforms, and then feel personally inadequate or lesser if their own lives do not compare.

The Comparison Trap

A great article on Psychology Today talks about The Comparison Trap that a lot of us find ourselves in with increased usage of multiple social sites. A certain amount of comparison, and measuring ourselves against our peers, is normal and can be helpful for inspiration, motivation, and drive. But they can also leave us feeling less than, and lead to more feelings of low self-image, depression, anxiety, etc. We start to care more about things we never cared about in the past. Like creating the picture-perfect living room, or baking that magazine-ready cake, or stocking the perfectly healthy fridge. We spend more time now thinking and caring about keeping up with the perfect pictures of people we have never met in person.

It’s not all bad!

There is much to say about the time we spend on social media and the negative impacts it could have on us, but truly it is about how and why we use these sites. If we use them as tools to engage, support, and connect with others it can be wonderful and uplifting. But if we continue to use them to pass the time, compare ourselves to others, or obsessively see what is going on in others lives, they will continue to have ill effects on our mental health.



What is Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT?

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Hello! And welcome to our blog.

For the month of May, we are going to be talking about different modalities, or types or therapy. Today Dr. Melissa Estavillo talks about EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy. EFT is a modality that our therapists use often here at Biltmore Psychology and Counseling for Couples counseling.

Click on the video to learn about how this could help you and your relationships! Have a question you’d like answered in a future video? Tell us in the comments section on youtube!

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What Kind of Therapy Do We Specialize In?

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At Biltmore Psychology and Counseling we see clients based on a variety of needs. We see clients who are seeking therapy for anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, PTSD, couples counseling, and much more.

When you’re looking for a therapist you might come across different types of modalities of therapy, like CBT, EFT or EMDR. Sometimes these names and acronyms can be confusing. So we thought we focus our theme for May on different modalities of therapy!

Commons Types of Modalities used in Therapy:


CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a type of therapy used to help understand and change the thoughts and feelings that ultimately influence our behaviors. It can be used to help anxiety, depression, phobias, and addiction to name a few.


EFT, or Emotionally Focused Therapy is a type of therapy that is most commonly used in adult relationships and couples counseling. EFT is meant to identify patterns that might be influencing negative emotions/behaviors and work to develop more trust and a more secure bond.


EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and is a type of therapy used to treat clients who are having trouble overcoming traumatic events and memories. It can help heal from emotional distress associated with these memories and past events. There are many processes involved in EMDR therapy, and it has been widely seen as a great way to help people move on from distressing memories.

These are just a few types of therapy that we do here at Biltmore Psychology and Counseling. We tailor each session to what the individual or couple is going through. We take the time to develop a treatment plan and discuss the steps moving forward to successfully implement that plan.

Each therapy office is different. If you are interested in a certain type of therapy, feel free to call and ask more about what we specialize in! And keep your eye out for our new YouTube videos this month on different modalities.

Stress and Infertility

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Welcome to our blog and Youtube Channel! We are Biltmore Psychology and Counseling, a practice with Licensed Psychologists and Therapists here in Phoenix Arizona.

This month we are tackling the difficult subject of Infertility. We have a few other videos up that talk about the impact infertility can have on a relationship, and also what to do when you’re feeling like giving up. So make sure to check those out!

In our video today, we talk about what factor stress really has on infertility. Dr. Melissa Estavillo also gives some tips to help get you through this difficult time. Have a question or a theme you’d like us to focus on in the future? Be sure to email us at or leave your questions in the comments section on YouTube.

Sad African American Couple Sitting On A Couch Indoors Looking At A Pregnancy Test

Tips for Stress during Infertility

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If you’ve ever struggled with infertility, I’m sure you’ve heard, “Just relax and you’ll get pregnant!” or “You’re too stressed!”

While stress can certainly exacerbate the situation when suffering from infertility, there is no known research to say that stress can cause infertility.

We know this because women become pregnant even in the most stressful and emotional states, such as war, famine, rape, and even drug addiction. So to say to someone that stress is what’s impacting their infertility is usually not very helpful and can be met with frustration and anger.

What stress does do during these difficult times, is making the process of trying to conceive that much harder. It can influence a person’s behavior and emotional state. An individual or couple might engage in behaviors that might not be the healthiest way to cope with the stress, like drinking, smoking, negative self-talk, self-medicating, etc.

Some tips for reducing stress:

  1. Acknowledge your feelings: Know that you are not alone and that your feelings during this time are completely valid.
  2. Share your questions and fears: It is important to have people in your life during this time who are caring and empathetic to what you are going through. Whether it is your friends, family, spouse, or even a counselor, having someone who understands your fears and anger can be really helpful.
  3. Allow yourself to cry and be angry: Trying to act or think or feel a certain way, can be exhausting. It can lead to resentment and suppression of healthy emotions that are beneficial in coping.
  4. Allow yourself to grieve: Unresolved grief can eat away at someone’s emotional and physical wellbeing. You are allowed to grieve during the process of trying to conceive. And you are allowed to grieve for the child you have yet to conceive.
  5. Keep a journal: writing things down can be helpful during this time. It can help you understand why you’re feeling the way you are, and maybe reveal something you might be burying that needs to be addressed to move forward.
  6. Stay connected with family and friends: isolating yourself during this time can be appealing, but try to stay connected to your social circle for support. It is okay to remind them that you’d rather not talk about baby stuff right now, or you might even feel comfortable confiding in them about what you’re going through.
  7. Communicate with your partner: infertility can be really trying on a relationship. Each person is going through something individually, and you are both going through something together. Keeping the communication open and supportive can be key during this emotional time.
  8. Get informed: this is a time of uncertainty. And that in itself can cause a lot of anxiety, depression, worry, and stress. Getting as much information as possible about what is happening, and what to expect in the future can help with the uncertainty. Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor questions, or to seek out a professional during this time to help guide you through.

If you want some more tips on how to deal with stress during infertility, check out this article over on , as well as this useful article, The Truth About Stress and Fertility on Psychology Today.