Book Recommendation

By | Biltmore, Blog, Book Recommendation, Mindfulness, self awareness | No Comments

This month we have been talking about how to be mindful, how to prioritize self care, and why being self aware is so beneficial.

In Nilofer Merchant’s book The Power of Onlyness she talks about how to take your self awareness and apply it creatively and professionally.  She says that by surrounding yourself with people who are also self aware, passionate, and motivated, it can open a huge window for your own dreams and desires to be recognized.


#psychlopedia- Self Awareness

By | #psychlopedia, Biltmore, Blog, self awareness | No Comments

By definition, self awareness is: conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.

The benefits of being self aware are plentiful. If we as human beings can be aware of our thoughts, our actions, our own well being, we are able to connect and interact with our environment in a much more productive way. We can adapt to change better, and bounce back from negative thoughts sooner. Being self aware allows us to communicate with others better, and communicate with ourselves in constructive and positive way.

How do you think self awareness is beneficial?

How well do you know yourself?

By | Biltmore, Blog, goals, Happiness, Mindfulness, self awareness | No Comments

How well do you know yourself? When asked what kind of person a you are, are you able to truly express who you really are?

Knowing yourself can be beneficial in so many different ways. When you understand the way you react in certain moments, the way you talk to yourself in your head, or a plethora of other traits that make you you, it can help you become a much happier person. When you know who you are, you are more likely to specifically seek and speak about what you want. You are more decisive with your decisions, and are able to set boundaries for people or things that might not be serving your happiness or health.

Your past makes up a big portion of what makes you you. But it doesn’t define who you are today. You might have come to certain conclusions because of your parents, or have a deeper appreciation for something that you didn’t have as a child.

Your future can shape what motivates you in life. What are your goals personally or professionally? How do you want to be treated, or how do you want to treat others? Knowing yourself can make those relationships around you deeper and more genuine. It can also show you which relationships can be toxic and should probably end.

Take a look at this article over at Psychology Today by Bill George titled, Know Thyself: How to Develop Self-Awareness . It’s a great outline for becoming more in tune with yourself!

Getting Started with Meditation

By | Biltmore, Blog, calm, meditation, Mental Health, Mindfulness | No Comments

Have you ever wanted to try meditation for self care, but wondered, ‘Where do I even start?’ It can be overwhelming and frustrating to feel like you can’t calm your mind even for a couple of minutes. There are many different types of meditation, and finding those right moments that allow you to center your thoughts varies from person to person.

It’s important to figure out why you want to start the practice of meditation. Because it has become an almost ‘trendy’ thing to do, you want to make sure your quest to meditate is going to be truly beneficial.

Then, start small. While the ideal goal for you might be meditating everyday for an hour, it is almost impossible to achieve that at the beginning. We all have busy lives, and it is hard to carve out time allotted to just ourselves. Even if you’re able to get in the habit of practicing everyday, the amount of time you can spend can also vary. Start with two minutes, then go to five. Stay on five for a few times a week, and gradually move up the amount of time and the frequency until you find the right fit.

Even just two minutes of sitting, calming your mind, and focusing on your body, your breathing, your mind can make a difference. Take a look at this article from Zen Habits on Meditation Guide for Beginners for a good place to start. And good luck!

Things That Calm People Don’t Do

By | Anxiety, Biltmore, Blog, calm, Coping, Emotional, Happiness, Mindfulness, Stress | No Comments

We all do different things to calm ourselves down in stressful situations. Sometimes these things were learned in childhood, and others we adopted as adults. Whatever the soothing anecdote is, it can sometimes be unhealthy and lead to more stress in the future.

Daily life holds so many stressors, from family life, work life, relationships stress, financial stress, and much more. From the moment we step outside the door in the morning we are bombarded with external and internal stimuli that could lead us down a path of negative thinking. Hopefully somewhere along the way we have learned what does not work for us in terms of coping skills when disaster arises. And in learning that, we can work on developing more positive steps in getting ourselves out of anxiety and stress, and back to that calming state.

So what do all those people who seem to not be bothered by much do that is so different than those of us who can get stuck in negativity?

The Art of Letting Go

They don’t obsess over every single detail. Have a big presentation tomorrow at work? Calm people don’t work themselves up every night leading up to the presentation, obsessing over every single thing that could go wrong.  Have a fight with your spouse? Calm people solve with a reasonable discussion instead of yelling and storming out.

People who maintain a sense of calm, don’t get stuck in their behaviors and thoughts. Said something that hurt a loved ones feelings? Apologize with sincerity, and then let it go. Letting it go frees up so much time we spend on obsessing over what someone else is doing or thinking, and replaying situations over and over in our head. It allows for clear, constructive, and stress free thoughts.

Putting the Emphasis on Thoughts rather than Action

When you’re stuck in a negative thought process, it is possible that this is stopping you from taking action. Many people have anxious thoughts that stop them from being able to see that there might be a solution. We can focus on an event past or present, and continually let the negative thoughts repeat in our heads until we are so clouded over there isn’t any room for a different pattern. If you’ve had a fight with your spouse, do you tend to go over the fight in your head multiple times afterwards? Do you pick apart everything you’ve both said, and play out all the worst case scenarios?

These thoughts don’t leave room for action, or for a change in behavior for next time a fight occurs. Instead of focusing on the last fight you’ve had, think about what words can be said, or behavior that can make the next fight more constructive.

A Negative Thought doesn’t turn into a Negative Day

Your internal dialogue is important in the way you interact with your environment. You might be short with a co-worker because you’re still telling yourself negative things about the fight with your spouse the night before. If someone cuts you off in traffic, it turns into a negative thought about the city you live in, to the job that have to commute to, etc.

Calm people have an ability to experience a stressor, think something negative, and then go back to a calm neutral state of mind. They don’t let one incident or thought, turn into a negative dialogue on repeat for the entire day.

Changing the way we think is not an easy task. It takes practice and effort over a period of time, but it certainly is worth it as the quality of our lives could be so much better with a more neutral reaction to life stressors. Check out this article at Psychology Today for some more insight on what calm people never do.