No relationship is perfect, and everyone faces issues when married, dating, or living together. But what if things have taken a turn for the worst for you and your partner? Do you feel like you are at your wits end trying to make the relationship work? If so, couples’ therapy may benefit your relationship, and help conquer some of the challenges that have caused you emotional pain and suffering between you and your significant other.
Relationships can be tough. Especially in February when it seems like every store, ad, and commercial are getting ready for Valentines Day.
It is easy to start to feel distant or disconnected from your spouse over time. Relationships often have an ebb and flow, which can follow amazing times, and then times that aren’t so great. Marriages and relationships often take a lot of work and effort by both parties to make them worth while. Often times couples seek counseling from professional psychologists to help rekindle the fire in their relationship.
According to Dictionary.com the meaning of divorce is:
- a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, especially one that releases the marriage partners from all matrimonial obligations.
- any formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom.
- total separation; disunion:
Divorce is not easy for anyone involved. You might have feelings of failure, disappointment or sadness when you separate for the last time from your partner. It shouldn’t be a decision taken lightly, but one that is well thought about and carried out.
It will affect each partner in the divorce, as well as family members, children and friends. Think of this as a time to grow as an individual, and focus on the future. Learn from relationship, but don’t let the divorce be a weight you carry around your neck.
If you are suffering from PTSD, you know how painful it can be. But what is it like for your partner? I’m sure your partner is doing everything they can to be supportive and understanding, but it can be difficult to watch someone you love go through something so painful and not be sure how to help.
No matter what the trauma was that caused the post traumatic stress, it can surface in your relationship in many different ways according to Good Therapy’s article by Anastasia Polluck, LCMHC, Posttrauamtic Stress Topic Expert Contributor. She states that relationships affected by PTSD can look like:
- Avoidance of and decrease in emotional and physical intimacy
- Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness by both partners
- Feelings of frustration, anger, confusion, and sadness
- Increase in anxiety
- More frequent arguments and difficulty finding resolution to problems
The most important thing here is to know that these items need to be addressed, spoken about, and a solution of some sort on the horizon in order for the relationship to survive. Ignoring or “waiting” until the traumatized individual “gets over” their PTSD is likely not going to happen in a healthy and productive manner. Anastasia Polluck goes on to list several things that the partner and the traumatized individual can do to get through this difficult time.
- Don’t try to fix or heal the trauma and the accompanying symptoms your partner is experiencing
- Don’t take it personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Consider getting counseling for the individual who did not experience the trauma.
- Involve your partner and communicate regularly.
- Attend counseling for the traumatized individual regularly, and work with your therapist to improve symptoms.
If you want to read more about how to execute these 6 items, head on over to Good Therapy and read the article. She writes a lot of good information, that can be enlightening to those who have a loved one going through something AND for those who are going through it.