The frenzy to start a new school year has begun. Target is full of back-to-school supplies, and parents are starting to feel the stress of another year of homework, full schedules, and pressure to help their students succeed. It seems to be a given that the most important elements of success are helping students achieve the best education, grades, and academic opportunities. And while clearly important, are these actually the variables most predictive of life success?

Let’s take a look!

Research on the qualities and variables that often contribute to life success often points to a combination of individual character development and supportive parenting more than high academic achievement. Here are some key qualities and strategies often found in the literature:

Key Qualities for Children’s Success

Resilience:

Or, as Psychologist/Researcher Angela Duckworth calls it, Grit. Resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks and keep trying. Many smart, accomplished people fail to reach their full potential without this quality. 

Curiosity: 

Curiosity drives learning and exploration; it encourages questions, explores new activities, and fosters a love for learning. When students are accomplished but often bored by their environment, they fail to pursue or discover avenues of success. 

Self-Control: 

Self-regulation helps students manage their emotions and behaviors. By developing the ability to delay gratification, set clear expectations and organization, calm feelings of overwhelm, and avoid impulsivity, students are more likely to succeed. 

Empathy: 

Without empathy, our relationships often fail. Developing an ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes enhances social relationships and understanding of others. It allows us to work better in teams, make connections, and get the job done well. 

Perseverance: 

Many pursuits are exciting in the beginning. However, without the ability to persevere over a long period of time, students will struggle to sustain the effort toward a long-term goal. When students can praise their own efforts over results, set achievable goals, and celebrate progress, they have the mindset for success. 

Creativity: 

Students need to learn to follow rules and procedures for how things are known to be done. Yet, they also need to learn to think outside the box. Creativity promotes problem-solving and innovative thinking. When students learn to engage in imaginative play, pursue diverse experiences, and create through artistic activities, they learn to see the world through the lens of its potential rather than its rules and limitations. 

Adaptability:

 I, for one, do not naturally have the gift of flexibility. Change stinks, and I don’t like it. Yet, in times of difficulty and transition, I have learned to chant a mantra to myself: “Successful people adapt and overcome…Successful people adapt and overcome.” The ability to adjust to new situations and change is a hallmark of success and life happiness. Successful children are exposed to different environments, encouraged to be flexible, and assisted with developing adaptive behavior to life change. 

So, if great grades, high achievement, and talent are not the most predictive of success, what may parents focus on to help their children succeed? 

Supportive Parenting Practices

1. Create a Nurturing Environment:
   • Provide a safe and supportive home where children feel loved and valued.
2. Encourage Independence:
   • Allow children to make choices and take on responsibilities to build confidence and autonomy.
3. Support Emotional Well-being:
   • Be attentive to your child’s emotional needs and provide support and guidance in managing emotions.
4. Communicate Openly:
   • Foster open and honest communication, listening actively to your child’s thoughts and concerns.
5. Celebrate Effort over Achievement:
   • Recognize and celebrate your child’s efforts to foster a growth mindset over a fixed mindset.

By focusing on a child’s character development over academic achievements, parents can create an environment that supports the development of traits that lead to success and happiness in all areas of life.