Sad mother sitting in an empty nursery holding a teddy bear

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

By | Biltmore, Blog, Mental Health | No Comments

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. And we will be focusing the blog and our Youtube channel on topics and questions related to the matter.

This is such a heavy and sensitive topic, sometimes people can shy away from wanting to talk about miscarriages and infant death. Others are at a loss of what to say to support their friend, family member, or loved one who is going through such a tragic time.

The Psychological Impact

Often times the person who was carrying the baby has a lot of grief, guilt, shame, and will blame themselves for a miscarriage. They believe somehow they are to blame, that something in their ability to carry the child has failed. They might not know how to communicate what they need during this difficult time. There is a lot of happiness and cheer when someone announces their pregnancy, and to lose it, can sometimes feel so overwhelming and lonely to have to then tell everyone they have lost the pregnancy.

How to support friends or family who have suffered a miscarriage:

  • Acknowledge the loss
  • Don’t worry about finding the right thing to say
  • Let them take the lead
  • Don’t try to cheer them up with success stories about others

Acknowledge the loss: 

Acknowledging what your loved one is going through is a big step in supporting them. The person might want to talk about it but doesn’t know how to bring it up. They might want support but are unable to ask for it without the acknowledgment that it happened. Tip toeing around someone who is experiencing this type of pain and grief, is the last thing that can help the situation. Speak to them, listen, tell them you are sorry for their loss.

Don’t worry about finding the right thing to say:

Nobody knows what to say in a time like this. And that’s okay. Even telling your loved one that you’re not sure the right thing to say, but that you are there for them might be enough in the moment. Follow up with them, ask them how they’re doing, ask them if they want to talk about it. And respect their privacy if they do not.

Let them take the lead:

Instead of launching into a dialogue about how you know someone who went through something similar, but then had success later on, just listen. Listen to what they are talking about and feeling, and empathize with them. Offering unsolicited advice on what they should try next is not very helpful. But allowing them to share their story with you can make a big difference.

Don’t try to cheer them up by success stories of others:

Like stated above, giving stories of others experiences, or offering advice on other ways to be successful can be really off-putting. Make sure you are supporting your loved one with an open ear.

To read more about this topic, head on over to this article by Monica N Starkman, MD at Psychology Today. 

Woman in black dress standing with hand on casket in funeral home, holding white lilies.

Loss by Suicide: A Different Kind of Grief

By | Biltmore, Blog, Coping, Depression, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Suicide | No Comments

At some point in our lives, we will lose someone we love. Grief can be a very complicated and heavy thing, that doesn’t necessarily go away but definitely gets easier. Everyone grieves differently, and there is no perfect way to deal with losing someone you love. When you lose someone to suicide, the grieving process can be quite different. There is often shock, sadness, guilt, and anger tied to the loss. While the process can be different for the person experiencing the grief, it can also be perceived as different from the outside. Often when you lose someone to old age, an accident, or a terminal illness, the loss gains sympathy and compassion.

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Woman in white nurses uniform, holding a yellow awareness ribbon for suicide prevention month.

September is Suicide Prevention Month

By | Anxiety, Biltmore, Blog, Coping, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Suicide | No Comments

We are well into September now, and Fall is upon us. It can mean many things like cooler weather, back to school, and day light hours getting shorter and shorter. September is also Suicide Prevention Month. With the high profile death by suicides that occurred this past summer with Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, our society is still mourning the loss of these very public passings.

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Suicide Prevention

5 Simple Steps to Help Prevent Suicide

By | Anxiety, Blog, Coping, Depression, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, PTSD, Stress, Suicide | No Comments

Earlier in the week we shared a TED Talk about how to start a conversation about suicide. In the last few months we have had a number of big name celebrities die from suicide. Our media once again has become saturated with those who many of us look up to and their decision to take their own lives. According to Elana Premack Sandler L.C.S.W, M.P.H and her article on Psychology Today, there are 5 simple steps for suicide prevention.

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Black and white photo wit woman holding a calendar with Friday the 13th highlighted and she is crossing her fingers.

Bad Luck or Psychological Reversal?

By | Anxiety, Biltmore, Blog, Mental Health, Psychological Reversal | No Comments

Today is Friday the 13th, are you superstitious? A lot of us seem to have belief in bad luck, karma, or superstitions that can drive our personality and behaviors. Have you ever thought you have perpetual bad luck? It doesn’t matter what you do, but somehow terrible situations seem to always find you?

Psychological reversal is a subconscious condition of self sabotage. So instead of making well thought out constructive decisions, you seem to make decisions that will only bring you unhappiness and misery.

Does it seem like everything is going really well, and then somehow you make one decision that brings it all crashing down? This could be psychological reversal. If you feel uncomfortable or uneasy when things are going your way, or good things are happening to you, you might start to feel like your expectations are getting too high. Nobody wants to get let down or not have certain decisions that do not meet their high expectations. So instead of letting the situation play out on it’s own, someone who engages in psychological reversal will subconsciously sabotage the situation in order to have control over the expectation level. By self sabotaging, the person knows they will be disappointed and miserable, and this gives them a sense of control rather than not knowing if something will disappoint them or uplift them.

Is there anything that can be done for Psychological Reversal? According to Dale Petterson an Energy Therapist, he uses muscle kinesiology as a way to treat clients who are so focused on the miserable outcomes.

In an article on Psychology Today by Susan Heitler Ph.D;

‘Muscle kinesiology works a lot like how a lie detector test works. The client’s arm serves as a lever that amplifies the slight physical changes that indicate a stress response.’

To read more about the way Dale Petterson uses this technique to help psychological reversal, check out the article over on Psychology Today!