Earlier this week we uploaded a video to our blog and Youtube channel where Dr. Melissa Estavillo talks about what to expect in Couples Counseling.

Why do couples generally seek counseling?

Today we’re going to expand on that a little bit! Couples seek counseling for a number of reasons. Maybe you’ve reached a bit of a lull in your relationship, and you’re looking for some tools to connect again. Sometimes you are in a really rough patch with your spouse with non stop arguing.  You might need help resolving the issues, and helping to communicate better. There could be some distrust or a specific event that you and your spouse are trying to work through. Whatever your reasons are, couples counseling can be a great way to work through these difficult times in your relationships.

How do I choose the right Couples Counselor?

There are a lot of therapists and psychologists out there. Make sure you are taking the time to select someone who will be a great fit with you and your spouse. We care about fit a lot here at Biltmore Psychology and Counseling. We try our best to match you with a counselor we think will be great. But in the event that you might not be clicking with that therapist, we are happy to refer you and your spouse to another one of our wonderful therapists here. All that to say is, do your research. Research therapists in your area. Read reviews. Talk to your friends and family and see if they have someone they might suggest. If you’re not sure, call that office and ask the Office Manager about the different therapists. They should be able to take the time to tell you about everyone, and help you decide who to book an appointment with.

Agree to go together.

Talk to your partner about what your hopes are for the sessions. Agree on going together, and be clear about what you are wanting to work through with your spouse. A good therapist will be able to talk through their approach with you both, and map out a treatment plan for the future. Know that it might take some time to break down some barriers with your new therapist and spouse, and be willing to try your best to work through.

Put in the work.

And finally, if you’re really serious about therapy and helping your current relationship, actually do the work. Take the tools the therapist gives you and implement them in your daily lives and relationship. It is great to see a therapist on a regular basis, but if you’re not actually taking some responsibility on yourselves as a couple, you will not see success in your efforts. Relationships are hard and require work. Having an outside, unbiased person to help guide you both, is a great way to develop a healthier relationship long term.