Set Your Valentine’s Day Up for Success

Small red Valentine's Day hearts, hanging on a string, with a teal background

There is so much pressure placed on Valentine’s Day wouldn’t you agree? We’ve barely stopped counting down from New Years before we’re bombarded with Valentines Day candies, chocolates, cards, and flowers.

There are some people who love this day, and others who loathe it. The amount of pressure and anxiety it can cause, can be overwhelming for those who are coupled up. It can also be a really nice way to reconnect with your loved one, and finally get that date night that you’ve been trying to schedule. Whatever your feelings are towards Valentine’s Day, take a step back this year with a different approach.

Lose Your Expectations

What makes this day fall apart are the expectations we can put on our partner and ourselves for the day to be perfect. Talk early on in your relationships about what you both expect from this holiday. My husband and I agreed early on to not worry about gifts, cards, or fancy dinner reservations. Instead, we agreed on bringing home a small treat to each other with a $10 limit. It can be fun bringing home some sweets that you wouldn’t normally eat, and with our monetary limit of $10, it eliminates the need or expectations of going above and beyond.

Speak with Positivity

Although this should really be an everyday goal, try to focus on building each other up today. Tell your partner how nice they look, or tell them how much you appreciate them putting the dishes away after dinner. I am a firm believer of speaking to your partner with positive affirmations every day. We see so many couples who cut each other down, and focus on what their partner is doing wrong, that they can’t seem to see how detrimental this can be to a relationship over the long term. Stay away from the blame and the resentment today.

Plan Something Fun

If you’re dead set on celebrating this day with an activity, try planning something fun and laid back. Take a bike ride down to the local ice cream shop. Head to that movie you’ve been dying to see. Stay in and make a homemade pizza together. Take the pressure out of planning the most romantic night of your lives, and instead replace with a normal, laid back, and fun activity. Make this day about laughter and enjoying the time together, and forget the pressure placed on you from the outside world. 


Happy Valentine’s Day from everyone here at Biltmore Psychology and Counseling!