Premarital Counseling
in Scottsdale, AZ

Traditional premarital counseling is a structured form of counseling for couples that are soon to be married. Each session may be set with a specific topic to discuss such as communication skills, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, and future parenting skills.

Sessions are usually brief, between three and five, and didactic or educational in nature. Couples will seek premarital counseling in efforts to prevent future distress rather than discuss current distress occurring in their relationship.

Couples looking for premarital counseling will present for their first session and outline the topics to be discussed in future sessions. The couple may be assigned reading or an assessment to better understand their personality and how they work together as a couple.

This form of counseling does not usually involve in-depth processing of thoughts, feelings and emotions and is more educational in nature. If couples decide that they would like services more similar to couples counseling, they can redefine their treatment goals and their counselor can also include this in their work.

Couples that are dating may feel uncomfortable discussing certain topics prior to marriage. Premarital counseling seeks to help couples have the safety, structure, and information to best navigate topics like communication skills, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, and future parenting skills.

Having discussed these topics prior to marriage, the couple is seeking to prevent future distress. Research indicates that couples who are better able to understand their emotions, attachment needs and communication style when distressed are better able to heal injuries to their relationship and utilize effective repair techniques. As such, they are better able to address distress early and more effectively, leading to less of the long-term distress associated with divorce.

What premarital counseling does in practice is give you the conversations most couples do not have until they are already in an argument about them. Money, in-laws, children, careers, faith, how each of you was taught to handle conflict. None of these is difficult to discuss calmly in advance. All of them are difficult to discuss for the first time at eleven at night in year three.

The topics discussed in premarital counseling can be helpful to a couple in any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). Yet, most couples seeking premarital counseling are usually engaged. This is because some religious organizations require premarital counseling prior to marrying the couple.

With a release of information and couples consent, our psychologists and counselors can document that the couple has attended premarital counseling.

No, conflict resolution can be included in premarital counseling, but it is usually didactic or educational in nature. Processing of conflict and resolution of hurt in the relationship is more commonly the focus of couples counseling rather than premarital counseling.

The most common presenting complaints for premarital counseling are the following:

• Inability to resolve conflict
• Intimacy difficulties and disconnection
• Feelings of detachment
• Deep sense of hurt from a specific event
• Deep sense of hurt from numerous nonspecific events
• Infidelity or boundary crossing
• Phase of life distress
• Repetitive arguments about parenting, finances, in-laws, work and life balance

Traditional premarital counseling is a defined course rather than open-ended work, and most couples do between three and five sessions, each built around a specific topic.

Couples who want to cover more ground take longer. Couples blending families, navigating a significant faith or cultural difference, or coming into the marriage after a previous divorce often want something closer to couples counseling, and that can run considerably longer. We will suggest a range after the first session rather than selling you a package before it.

Living together answers some questions and leaves others untouched. Couples who have shared a home for years have generally worked out chores, space and daily rhythm, which is real and worth something.

Marriage tends to raise a different set: legal and financial merging, expectations around children, obligations to extended family, what you each believe a marriage is supposed to be, and what happens when one of you wants to move for work. Long-cohabiting couples often find premarital counseling more useful than they expected, precisely because the practical stuff is already settled and there is room for the rest.

Arizona offers covenant marriage as an alternative to a standard marriage license, and it does require premarital counseling. Under A.R.S. § 25-901, that counseling can be provided by a member of the clergy or by a marriage counselor, and it must cover the seriousness of covenant marriage, that it is intended as a lifelong commitment, the obligation to seek counseling if difficulties arise, and the limited legal grounds for ending one.

Both partners sign an affidavit confirming they received the counseling, and the counselor provides a notarized attestation. We already document attendance at premarital counseling for couples whose religious organization requires it, with a release of information and couples consent.

Arizona does not require premarital counseling for a standard marriage license, and there is no state fee discount for completing it. Requirements and forms vary by county, so confirm the details with your county clerk. If you are considering a covenant marriage, tell us on the consultation call at (480) 999-7070.

Our office is out-of-network, so we do not accept insurance directly. Premarital counseling is also frequently not covered even by plans that cover therapy, because it is not treatment for a diagnosed condition.

However, if your insurance plan offers out-of-network benefits, we can provide you with a receipt so that you can bill your insurance directly. Depending on the individual insurance plan, many will be reimbursed for a percentage of their payment.

To determine if you have out-of-network mental health coverage, contact your insurance and ask about whether your plan includes out-of-network mental health coverage. Many couples budget for premarital counseling the way they budget for other parts of the wedding. Call (480) 999-7070 and we will give you the current rate before you book anything.

A premarital counselor gives the two of you a structured reason to have the conversations that are easy to keep postponing. Left to itself, a wedding calendar fills with venues and seating charts and never with money, in-laws or what either of you expects the first year to feel like.

The work is topic by topic rather than open-ended. Each session takes one area, you both say what you actually think rather than what you assume the other wants to hear, and the counselor keeps it from turning into an argument. Where a real difference turns up, and one usually does, you find that out now instead of in year three. Our clinicians can also document attendance if a religious organization or a covenant marriage requires it.

We see Scottsdale couples in person at our office near Biltmore Fashion Park and online throughout Arizona. Call (480) 999-7070 for a free 10-minute consultation.

Our office is in Phoenix at 6245 N 24th Parkway, near 24th Street and Camelback beside Biltmore Fashion Park, about 20 minutes from Old Town Scottsdale on Camelback Road. We have served the Scottsdale area since 2012, and we also offer online sessions to any Arizona resident.

In a free, no-obligation 10-minute consultation we can tell you what premarital counseling would look like for the two of you and roughly how many sessions it would take.

Our licensed clinicians see Scottsdale couples in person at our Biltmore-area office and online throughout Arizona.