Couples Counseling
In Scottsdale, AZ

For the first session, the couple usually meets with their therapist together to discuss the history of their distress, unsuccessful attempts to heal, and the goals for therapy. The therapist will provide feedback on the strengths that he or she sees in the couple and will propose a treatment plan.

In the following sessions, the therapist will likely meet with each person individually to gather a more in-depth personal history. Couples counselors will usually state there are no secrets in couples counseling. Any information shared in an individual session cannot be kept secret from the other partner.

At the end of counseling, couples hope to have healed emotional injuries to the relationship, clarified their desire to be together, or have decided to enter a separation process with the highest level of care and compassion.

Most importantly, the counselor’s role is not to decide if the couple should stay together but is to help the couple achieve the highest level of healing possible, so they can determine if they would like to stay together or separate.

Read more: What to Expect at Your First Couples Counseling Session

Depending on the couple’s goals, most couples counseling sessions will focus on the history of distress and attempt to help the couple find a greater resolution. As specific incidences of distress are discussed, a couples counselor may be watching for themes of disconnection and assist the couple in overcoming the barriers that have been getting in the way.

A counselor may also attempt to help the couple intellectually understand their partner as well as emotionally connecting to the places of distress. Couples may focus on improving communication and restoring levels of connection that were once present in the past.

Other couples may focus on healing attachment injuries that have occurred due to an affair. Some may focus on specific difficulties such as step-parenting or frustrations with in-laws. Another couple may present for premarital counseling as a preemptive attempt to avoid common relationship pitfalls.

By definition, short-term counseling is considered to be 12 sessions so most couple counseling lasts between 12 and 24 sessions. However, many couples wait until they are on the brink of divorce or separation before they start therapy.

Factors that predict success and length of counseling:

• Timing. How recently was the affair, lie, or injury to the relationship. Since time does not heal all wounds but instead causes them to fester, the greater the length of time between the incident and counseling, the longer the recovery tends to take.
• Motivation. Highly motivated couples are usually able to overcome even the most difficult of circumstances and may be able to do so in substantially fewer sessions.
• Fit. Finding a therapist that the couple connects with and feels understood by is key to a more brief and efficient therapy.

Researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., found that couples are usually unhappy for six years before they receive help. That is an argument for starting sooner, not for despairing if you did not.

No. Couples of any marital status (dating, courting, engaged, married) can participate in couples counseling. The couple does not have to be dating or married for a prescribed length of time to benefit from counseling. In fact, the sooner the couple addresses any underlying distress, the greater the chances of positive outcomes.

Sometimes, and it depends less on how bad things are than on two other things: whether both of you still want the relationship to work, even faintly, and how long the distress has been running.

Couples counseling can also help a couple separate well rather than badly, which is a legitimate outcome and one that matters enormously if there are children involved. What counseling cannot do is want the relationship on behalf of someone who does not. If you are unsure whether you want to stay, that uncertainty is a reasonable thing to bring into the room rather than something to resolve before you arrive.

The single most useful thing is to go earlier than feels necessary. Dr. John Gottman’s research found that couples are typically unhappy for around six years before they seek help, by which point the patterns are deeply established and there is a great deal of accumulated resentment to work through first.

Beyond timing, what predicts recovery is whether you can each hear the hurt underneath the other person’s anger rather than only the anger itself. That is precisely what EFT is built to work on, and marriage counseling covers it in more depth.

Yes. For various reasons, an individual may choose to come in by themselves for concerns related to their relationship. When appropriate, someone may start counseling by themselves, then later bring their partner in for couples counseling, if desired. Others may choose to have two counselors, one for individual therapy and another for couples counseling.

Most therapists will see each person individually for one session to gather a more in-depth personal history. Beyond this initial individual session, the future individual sessions will depend on the goals outlined. It is important to note that there are no secrets in couples counseling, meaning that information shared individually cannot remain confidential from the other partner.

We prefer that couples arrange for childcare and avoid bringing their child in for couples counseling. Due to the sensitive and emotional nature of this work, couples that bring their children often are not able to engage in conversations in the most honest, undistracted way.

The research on couples counseling is very exciting for counselors using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). According to Dr. Sue Johnson’s EFT outcome research, the most recent studies have shown that 70 to 75% of couples fully recover from their distress and that 90% show significant improvements.

The best news is that these improvements do not just last while in therapy. The effect lasts after the treatment has ended.

Our office is out-of-network, so we do not accept insurance directly. However, if your insurance plan offers out-of-network benefits, we can provide you with a receipt so that you can bill your insurance directly.

Depending on the individual insurance plan, many will be reimbursed for a percentage of their payment. To determine if you have out-of-network mental health coverage, contact your insurance and ask about whether your plan includes out-of-network mental health coverage. Feel free to contact our office with any questions at (480) 999-7070.

Each couple has their own specific reason for coming to couples therapy, so the price for couples counseling sessions varies, depending on the couple’s needs. If you have questions about pricing, please call our office at (480) 999-7070 and we will give you the current rate before you book anything.

Our office is in Phoenix at 6245 N 24th Parkway, near 24th Street and Camelback beside Biltmore Fashion Park, about 20 minutes from Old Town Scottsdale on Camelback Road. We have served the Scottsdale area since 2012, and we also offer online couples sessions to any Arizona resident.

Yes. Online couples sessions are available to any Arizona resident, and they solve the biggest practical obstacle in couples work, which is getting two people to the same place at the same time every week. Partners can join from separate locations when schedules demand it. You can also mix formats. Call (480) 999-7070 and we will tell you what is available.