During your first counseling session, the couple usually meets with their therapist together to discuss the history of their relationship distress and the goals for therapy. Your therapist will provide feedback on the strengths they see in the relationship and will propose a treatment plan.

In future sessions, your therapist will potentially meet with each person individually to gather knowledge on their personal history. Couples counselors will usually state there are no secrets in couples counseling. Any information shared in an individual session cannot be kept secret from the other partner.

At the end of couples counseling, couples hope to have healed emotional injuries to the relationship, clarified their desire to be together, or have decided to enter a separation process with the highest level of care and compassion.

The counselor’s role is not to decide if the couple should stay together, but to help the couple achieve the highest level of healing possible.

Read More: What to Expect at Your First Couples Counseling Session

Depending on the couple’s goals, most couples counseling sessions will focus on the history of distress and attempt to help the couple find a greater resolution. As specific incidences of distress are discussed, a couples counselor may be watching for themes of disconnection and assist the couple in overcoming the barriers that have been getting in the way.

A counselor may also attempt to help the couple intellectually understand their partner as well as emotionally connecting to the places of distress. Couples may focus on improving communication and restoring levels of connection that were once present in the past.

Other couples may focus on healing attachment injuries that have occurred due to an affair. Some may focus on specific difficulties such as step-parenting or frustrations with in-laws. Another couple may present for pre-marital counseling as a preemptive attempt to avoid common relationship pitfalls.

By definition, short-term counseling is considered to be 12 sessions. Often times couple counseling can last between 12-24 sessions.

Here are some factors that predict success and length of sessions:

1. Timing – How recently was the affair, lie, or injury to the relationship. Since time does not heal all wounds, but instead causes them to fester. The greater the length of time between the incident and counseling, the greater the recovery. Researcher, John Gottman, Ph.D., found that couples are usually unhappy for 6 years before they seek help.
2. Motivation – Highly motivated couples are usually able to overcome difficult circumstances in substantially fewer sessions.
3. Fit – Finding the right couples therapist which a couple connects with and feels understood by is key to efficient therapy.

No. Couples of any marital status (dating, courting, engaged, married) can participate in couples counseling. The couple does not have to be dating or married for a prescribed length of time to benefit from counseling. In fact, the sooner the couple addresses any underlying distress, the greater the chances of positive outcomes.

The research on couples counseling is very exciting for counselors using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The most recent studies have shown that 70-75% of couples fully recover from their distress and that 90% show significant improvements.

Most therapists will see each person individually for one session to gather a more in-depth personal history. Beyond this initial session, the future individual sessions will depend on the goals outlined. It is important to note that there are no secrets in couples counseling, meaning that information shared individually cannot remain confidential from the other partner.

Yes. For various reasons, an individual may choose to come in by themselves for concerns related to their relationship. When appropriate, someone may start counseling by themselves, then later bring their partner in for couples counseling, if desired. Others may choose to have two counselors, one for individual therapy and another for couples counseling.

We prefer that couples arrange for childcare and avoid bringing their child in for couples counseling. Due to the sensitive and emotional nature of this work, couples that bring their children often are not able to engage in conversations in the most honest, undistracted way.

Our office is out-of-network, so we do not accept insurance directly. However, if your insurance plan offers out-of-network benefits, we can provide you with a receipt so that you can bill your insurance directly.

Depending on the individual insurance plan, many will be reimbursed for a percentage of their payment. To determine if you have out-of-network mental health coverage, contact your insurance and ask about whether your plan includes out-of-network mental health coverage. Feel free to contact our office with any questions.

Each couple has their own specific reason for coming to couple’s therapy. So, the price for couples counseling sessions vary, depending on the couple’s needs. If you have questions about pricing, please contact our offices for pricing: 480-999-7070